The Pursuit of Excellence

by Chris Heath (Details, August 1991, USA)
 
 

In his life, as in his work, Keanu Reeves likes playing with fire.

Some people think Keanu Reeves is a bit stupid. They see the shaggy hair and
the stoned, surfer-dude body language ; they remember him as the Ted half of
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, as the disaffected and druggy young Romeo
in River’s Edge, as the hyperactive problem boyfriend in Parenthood. He is
affable but dumb, they decide, and however you cast him he plays himself.

Everybody who has worked with him tells a different story. They talk about
an actor with substance and depth. They testify to his diligence, his
sincerity, and his intelligence. They point to the way in which, not just
aforementioned roles but also in less obvious parts - such as Martin in Tune
in Tomorrow or as Chevalier Danceny in Dangerous Liaisons - he has instilled
his characters with a rare sense of urgency and energy, and also with a
beautiful, flawed honesty and naivete. They see an extraordinary actor, one
who can project feelings onto film in a truly unusual way. They enthuse
about somebody who has more than the right cheekbones, a rough’n’ready
demeanor, and puppy-dog eyes. He’s a bit weird, he’s a bit strange, and he’s
living life by his own agenda, but he has, they agree, a future.

But some people think Keanu Reeves is a bit stupid, and Keanu Reeves is one
of them. "I’m meathead", he breezily tells me. "I can’t help it, man. You’ve
got smart people and you’ve got dumb people. You just happen to be spending
some time with a dumb person."

It’s convenient for him, this "Don’t ask me - I’m just a dumb schmuck" line.
If you live behind the shutters marked "clever", your life is dogged by nosy
intellectuals rattling the blinds and trying to peek at your furniture. If
you smile half-wittedly behind the curtains marked "dumb" - Mel Gibson does
this, too - then they leave you alone.

Nearly all celebrities - nearly all people - like to talk about themselves.
Keanu doesn't. He's cordial, and he's not deliberately evasive (he's
embarrassed by, not proud of, his reluctance to talk), but he finds the
process... ludicrous. Whenever he mentions a friend he shouts a greeting :
"Brenda! Is it a boy or a girl?" If he doesn’t like a question, he’ll say
under his breath the "wow" word, or he'll do this laugh that starts out like
a normal laugh but stops halfway through, dead, leaving him leaning back in
his chair with his mouth still slightly open. Then, as often as not,
there'll be silence. Ask about his childhood and he'll maybe mention
something about acting. Ask about his family and he'll tell you about his
state of mind. Ask about films and he'll start onto something about his
parents. Wait for an answer and it never comes. Very Zen.

When I press him about his past, he resists for a couple of minutes, staring
unhappily at my big tape recorder on the table ("the dinosaur", he calls
it), then splurges forward in an uncomfortable mixture of semi-revelation
and parody. The following is delivered as a totally uninterrupted monologue
:

"Oh, wow. O.K., so here we go. I lived in New York City until I was six or
seven or eight. I grew up in Manhattan - Upper West Side - and then I moved
to Toronto. That’s where I spent my misspent youth, my spent youth. I spent
my youth, my youth was spent. I’m a middle-class white boy... a bourgeois
middle-class white boy with an absent father, a strong-willed mother, and
two beautiful younger sisters. I played sports - my main sports were hockey
and basketball. I was kinda shy in school, but I also had the class-clown
element about me. I was removed, but I was involved. I was very particular.
If you wanted to invade my space it was heavy ; you’d get a reaction. I
started acting when I was fifteen. Toronto was a great place to grow up in.
You know, no graffiti. We’d play hide-and-go-seek. Barry Horsely was the
first rebel I ever knew. Beautiful guy. Hey, Barry, I hope you’re fuckin’
rocking out there, man, doing what you want to do. Evan Williams was one of
my young mates. And Rowan. Rowan was the only black dude in my school, man.
Didn’t start doing drugs, tried drugs when I was eighteen, seventeen.
Avoided them, was afraid of them, I guess, but then I got into it and it was
groovy. I dug it. I’m so glad I’ve hallucinated in my life. I think that’s
one of the most beautiful things. Isn’t it one of the most amazing things?"

I tell him truthfully, but at the time with some shame, that I wouldn’t
know.

"You’ve never hallucinated?" He is shouting. Loud. "Chris, come on, bro!
You’re in these clubs and everyone’s tripping and singing and dancing and
....you’re just a fuckin’ voyeur, man. Well, my friend, it’s a trippy, trippy
thing. You’re ready, man. I can see it inside. You’re kindling."

Keanu Reeves was born in Beirut, September 2, 1964. His Hawaiian-Chinese
father, if the story he’s been told is true, had one of the first Jaguar
XKEs off the line. Purple. His mother, English, was a strong individual with
a strong style, and at the time she favored cowboy boots, blue jeans, and a
mink coat. The couple’s fashion sense was not always appreciated by the
Lebanese. They got stoned a couple of times. By rocks.

Keanu was his great-great-uncle’s name. The most famous Keanu Reeves fact is
that Keanu is Hawaiian for "cool breeze over the mountains". At school they
called him Keanu or Kee ; sometimes they called him Reeves or Reevo.

He says his middle name is Charles.

Keanu is sitting here two weeks after the busiest year of his life. He has
shot three films back-to-back : Point Break, in which he stars as an FBI man
undercover as a surfer alongside Patrick Swayze ; My Own Private Idaho, Gus
Van Sant's tale of street hustlers in Portland, Oregon ; and the sequel to
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, more goofing, grinning, and saving the
world with Alex Winter. As light relief, he also co-stars in Paula Abdul's
"Rush Rush" video, a brief remake of Rebel Without a Cause in which he plays
the James Dean role. Another "regurgitation of icons and culture by the
American media," he deadpans. "And I’m your guy, I guess, for that right
now."

Indeed. Keanu’s career has been building steadily -- a strange, disparate
selection of strong, quirky, charming performances from River’s Edge to Tune
in Tomorrow, Parenthood to Dangerous Liaisons, and many people see this
year’s films as the ones to cement his name.

So people ask questions. There is a type of question -- just about anything
that stretches beyond simple time and place -- that Keanu doesn’t like. I
ask him what he recalls about his father. He laughs. Says "Wow". When I
persist, the sarcasm steam train heads off into the hills.

"He taught me how to roller-skate! We went hunting together! My father was a
strong-willed man! He taught me how to cook! He had a je ne sais quoi about
his step! I remember being little and grabbing for his finger ; his hands
seemed so big back then. And then I flashed after I’d eaten acid : "My God,
I’m taller than my dad". Weird. Beautiful. Heavy."

He was fifteen when he last saw his father. Does he think of him fondly?

"I think of black and I think of blue / I think of red and I think of you /
I think of yellow and I think of mauve / No more colors do I know…"

Then, maybe, he says something he means, like "Jesus, man, the story with me
and my dad’s pretty heavy. Full of pain and woe and loss and all that shit."

His mother sent Keanu to a therapist when he was a little guy and the heavy
father thing was going down. They played chess and talked ; after a while
his mother decided he was better. Keanu won the chess games, but he never
knew whether the guy had let him.

We decide to shoot some pool. Down Sunset Boulevard to the Hollywood
Athletic Club. Keanu leads the way on his motorbike -- leather jacket, faded
blue-black jeans, Adidas sneakers, black sweater, no helmet. "Helmet law of
California, fuck you! Petty government bullshit -- get outta my face!" Keanu
likes motorbikes because they’re great to ride and they look cool. A couple
of years ago he took a turn too fast in Topanga Canyon and lost it. It
wasn’t too bad. His spleen ruptured, but they sewed it up. Afterward, he was
straight back on the bike. It wasn’t such a psychic trauma. But he fears for
the future that the doctors may have put his intestines back in wrong, which
would give him pretty serious problems when he gets old. He just feels his
digestion moves slower round there.

He’s not a bad pool player, but he hits everything too hard. He attacks the
table and balls verbally as well as physically. "Fuck you, man", he tells
them when he misses. In between shots he waves the cue about, pretending to
use it as a weapon. He hums along to the Pretenders’ greatest-hits LP and
plays air bass.

Keanu likes second-generation punk music. He talks about Wire, Sham 69,  Discharge, Agent Orange. He whistles the Clash’s White Riot. "I guess it’s  just the frenzy, man", he explains.

On film -- in Permanent Record and both of the Bill & Ted’s escapades --  Keanu struggles with lead guitar. In fact, he plays bass in a group he  describes as "a Joy Division-Zappa Rats-‘60s progressive-blues jam".

Are you any good?

He looks me straight in the eye and answers in slow, definite, read-my-lips  fashion : "I’m the worst bass player in the whole world, Chris. I have no  rhythm."

He didn’t tell himself to be an actor until he was fifteen. He had four  early ambitions. A racecar driver. An inventor. A nuclear physicist. The  conductor of an orchestra. At fifteen he auditioned for Toronto’s Theatre  Arts High School and got in. He was thrown out after a year. Not enough  concentration. Too flighty. Always questioning authority.

He worked a little. He sharpened skates at an ice-rink pro shop. He did  landscaping, climbing trees with one end of a rope tied around his waist and  the other to a chain saw. He made a hundred pounds of pasta a day in a shop  called Pastissima ; at eighteen he became the manager. He quit when he was  cast in his first play. He never had a real job again.

His first TV part was in a local Toronto show about a community center. He  had one line : "Hey, lady! Where’s the shower?" In a show called Night Heat  he played Thug Number One. His friend Vince was Thug Number Two. Keanu was  taller than Vince, and the director said to him, "Why don’t you be the tall  one?", and to Vince, "Why don’t you be the short one?" They both howled like  dogs. The lesson was : just do it.

His Hollywood break came when the Rob-Lowe-plays-ice-hockey vehicle  Youngblood was shot in Toronto. You first notice Keanu, the goalkeeper,  walking thought the changing room, a roll of tape balanced on his head. He  doesn't remember that, though. When reminded, he says, "Wow. That's silly."

Why do you act?

"Because it makes me happy, that moment when you’re in it. It’s only  happened a handful of times, but when it does you’re in the fire, you’re  unconscious, just… free. One of the first scenes I ever did was like that. I  was in community theater doing Bent [a drama about inmates at Auschwitz]. I  was the guy who eventually throws himself onto the fence."

It also taught him what acting could mean. He and his friend Alan had made  shirts, "a bit of research", for the play. Keanu had a yellow star on his  shirt -- a Jewish prisoner -- and Alan had a pink triangle on his -- a  homosexual.

"We were putting them on in the bathroom, and this old man came in and  freaked out. He started spitting and swearing in Yiddish, trying to get at  us. We were like" -- he imitates a moron realizing what happens years after  the bomb went off -- "What did we do? Oh, hello, we’re in the Jewish  community center…"

He won’t forget it.

"It hit me that theater can actually do something, that it’s physical and  emotional and human. It’s in the heavens and in the earth and it just  vibrates through us. That was a special day, and it added something --  whatever -- to that boy", he says, referring to himself. "He found something  for himself."

The last few lines of this speech lurch into insincere voice-over -- maybe  that’s the only way Keanu can say things -- but the impression is that he  doesn’t mean them any less.

A friend used some psycho one-on-one expression on Keanu recently, something  about "being your own parent." It made sense to him.

These are weird days for Keanu. When he turned twenty-six it was the most  radical change. It’s not enough now just to want to be an actor. He says  there’s more -- intellectually, spiritually. He thinks he’s sometimes been  guilty of falling back on what he knows, which is O.K. in a craft sense but  not in a personal sense. "Stanislavsky talked about personality acting, and I’ve been guilty of that to a certain degree", he mutters. It’s his own  diagnosis. And he’s started thinking about "my mortality… friendship, love,  what’s important, what’s real, what there is to do, family, the smell of the  flowers, all that shit." So now he’s trying to act on it. He’s trying to  develop a life.

But this process, these changes, may have a darker side. Over and over Keanu  praises things -- Beat writers, acting, bike riding, retro-punk -- that have  that "Yes! What the hell, just do it!" quality. If there’s a theme in this  (and it’s one that fits in well with his reluctance to share, or even  examine himself), it’s that he’s trying to find -- in his life, in his  acting -- that natural state where you just go. He enthuses about the  filming of My Own Private Idaho. For a while, a gang of actors moved into  director Gus Van Sant’s mansion to get into their roles as renegade kids.  Keanu figured, "I only have so much time. I might as well throw myself into  the fire."

Hollywood is aflood with stories of how this meant more than just late-night  script revision and the occasional cold beer. They say that Keanu indulged  his "Just say yes" enthusiasms a little too far and that they lasted well  into the filming of Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey. Some accounts even have the  set closing down while Keanu sorted himself out. Director Peter Hewitt, who  denies that the set closed, tells me that if the film’s grueling schedules  was a bit too much for Keanu, "it didn’t show."

Keanu looks unhappy when I allude to this. "Uh-huh", he says to himself and  nods. "I don’t want to talk about it." For the first time he looks angry,  hurt, unwilling to continue. I reassure him that this is no low-life expose.  "So why did you ask me then?" he snaps.

Keanu looks betrayed… but Keanu is the sort of person who is going to feel  betrayed a lot. He’s not the sort of person to pussyfoot around in a  please-everyone, helmet-law, Hollywood style. Keanu believes in climbing the  tree and reaching for those higher branches, and he’s only interested in  looking up, in watching what his hands are grasping for. He doesn’t realize  that other people have their eyes on his feet, waiting for him to lose his  footing. He doesn’t see the point in it -- why would you look at the shaky  feet when you could look… up there! That’s what acting is about, and that’s  what his life is all about.

But when the world doesn’t live up to your ideals, you feel betrayed. It happened on one of his early films, Permanent Record. He plays a student  reacting to a friend’s suicide. It’s nearly good, especially in the middle,  when he sweeps up the film into his hyperactive arms and makes you ache  along with his character, who is trying, and failing, to cope with the  death. But, as he often related, he felt betrayed by the finale, a bit of  cheesy Beverly Hills 90210 togetherness : a girl interrupts the school’s  Gilbert & Sullivan musical to sing an impromptu musical tribute to their  departed buddy, and they all clap and smile. When he saw it, Keanu went out  of his mind. Betrayed. Betrayed.

But the interesting thing is that, as he now admits, this wasn’t a  last-minute piece of Hollywood gift wrapping. It was in the script. It was  always going to happen. It was just that the vulnerable Keanu -- with all  his faith, his trust, and his belief in the values and aims of acting and  filmmaking -- never really believed it.

Underwear on the floor. It’s a mess. Keanu rents a house in Los Angeles.  Lots of tapes. A bass amp. A TV. Rented furniture. He only has one of his  own videos, a copy of Parenthood. It’s still in its package. A few books,  stuff like The Idiot, some William Gibson. Philip K. Dick. The last book he  was into was rereading Stanisalvsky’s An Actor Prepares. "He’s Russian  dude", says Keanu. Then, realizing this information is unnecessary, he  mutters, "That was pretty Ted-like."

Ted is a role Keanu is proud of. It’s changed his life.

"What’s Ted like?" he asks me.

"So dumb that everything is fun", I say.

"So. Dumb. That. Every. Thing. Is. Fun", Keanu repeats. He says it three  times. "Wow".

The description does not seem to have met with his approval. So what, I  persevere, is life like post-Ted?

"Post-Ted? What the fuck is that, man?" he scoffs, then answers anyway.

"You’re not judgmental. You just want to do your own thing and just go. It’s  radical. What’s your next question?"

"I don’t know yet."

"How organic. Well, here you are, in the miasma of the moment."

He has some photos -- Martha Plimpton and him during Parenthood, him and  William Hurt in I Love You to Death -- but he keeps those in a drawer. On  the wall there’s a photo taken by Allen Ginsberg of Neal Cassady.

Keanu was eighteen when he discovered the Beats. He read The Dharma Bums and On the Road. It seemed "American and accessible and alone and searching and human and real and an honest kind of grooviness." But he’s never lived it as deeply as those guys did. Two years ago Keanu and a friend took a road trip over to New Mexico -- a couple thousand miles in ten days. The desert is where Keanu feels the most calm. He’s very connected to the earth ; he loves "dirt and earth and fuckin’ flowers and big skies and the desert." He just gets in the dirt and hangs out. Then he’s happy.

When did you last cry?

"Gosh." Pause. Then, a little sarcastically, "Last night."

Is that even slightly true?

"Totally. I’m not lying at all. Actually, I cried three times. I’m a crybaby, man."

What did you cry about?

"Once I cried over beauty, once I cried over pain, and the other time I cried because I felt nothing. I can’t help it, man. I’m just a cliché of myself."

Can you be more specific?

"I’m kidding. I didn’t cry at all. I haven’t cried for a long time."

So can you remember the last time?

"Yeah, it was last night. I cried because I was happy my friend was pregnant. I cried because my sister --" He pauses and mutters under his breath, "She’s not going to like this", then says, a little bit louder, "No, I’m lying again."

A girl interrupts on of our talks for an autograph. Keanu is charming to her  -- he signs with the Ted-like message "Be excellent" -- but he gets annoyed  with me when I ask whether this happens often. "I’m not famous, man", he  snaps. "I played Ted -- that’s it."

He’s suspicious of fame. He almost fears it, not in the way shy people fear  attention but in the way tidy people abhor a mess. It might sully  everything. It would be a bother. The things he values have nothing to do  with parties and awards and crowds and interviews. He wants to act, to dive  into the fire, to ride his bike too fast, to ride his mind to fast, to shake  his head to music that’s too fast… to be there. That’s when he feels good,  not when somebody knows his name.

And so, what will make him happy is not more people knowing his name but  getting deeper into the fire, getting better at being in the fire. What he  really wants is very, very simple : "to hopefully be a good actor one of  these days." He talks about this quest as though he’s sure no one could  understand, with the hesitancy of someone who’s been forced, against his  will, to explain to a man with no mouth just what’s so good about kissing.

To ask him to be self-conscious about any of this is a peculiar form of  cruelty. He really hates it. When he asks me whether I liked his kiss with  Barbara Hershey in Tune in Tomorrow -- "kinda sloppy, wasn’t it?" -- I ask  him about that experience, of kissing someone for fake. I point out to him  that most people, in the whole of their lives, never get to kiss someone  except with the regular motivations. What is it like?

He goes quiet. "I never thought of that", he says. And he means it. He gives  me a look that seems to say, What kind of freaky, strange, self-conscious  person would think of something like that?

But, I persist, he’s been screen-kissing for seven or eight years.

"Just kissing right and left", he laughs. "Sure! A movable feast."

So, I ask him, where is his inner head -- the one that provides the  commentary -- when he’s doing that? He has to think awhile.

"I don’t know", he finally says. "I’m not watching. I’m gone. You want to be  out of there. If you’re judging, you’re evaluating. You’re not being. There  are so many atoms and molecules involved, it’s hard to look at each one."

You just do it.

His love interest in Point Break, Lori Petty, says he does it well. "Oh,  he’s a very good kisser." And a good actor. "He’s obviously very, very  gifted. It’s something you can’t learn. He’s definitely blessed, and he  works very hard… and he’s a good kisser. That’s all you need : God’s  blessing, and lips."

Keanu talks about women : "Ah, wow! They are amazing, aren’t they? They can  go places, do things, have powers that men don’t have. Because they’re  women."

He’s been seeing this girl for a year or so. She doesn’t do just anything.  "She’s got a lot of passions, but she won’t do a stupid job only for money."  He says she’s vet sexual, "but she’s afraid of her sexuality. At least, she  says she is, but my friend caught her posing in the mirror the other day,  making, like, sexy, Garbo kind of face." Keanu has dull dreams ; she dreams  of swimming with dolphins.

These days Keanu sometimes thinks about kids. He’s almost broody. "You could  say pre-broody. I can feel a broody coming on", he laughs. Lately, he says,  "I’m just in the bell curve of humanity, cruising along where I should be".

Down in Santa Monica, at the Ivy restaurant, Keanu is sharing a meal and  some thoughts about the new Bill & Ted’s with Alex Winter. Later they’re  meeting at a "sweat bash" at the Palladium : the Butthole Surfers, L7, and  Red Kross. For now, Keanu and I wander to a bench overlooking the sea and  the Santa Monica pier. It's nearly sunset and there's a cold wind. Around  us, bums wander. I've never been here before. "This", Keanu tells me, "is a  street vibe… the melting pot of America". Before we start talking he jumps  up toward a particularly bedraggled, bearded soul.

"I don’t know if you need it or not", he begins a little nervously, holding  out the remnants of his meal, "but I had some spaghetti. I’m not going to  eat it. Do you want it?"

The man grunts in appreciation, takes it.

"All right. Good, man", Keanu mumbles and sits down. With nine celebrities  out of ten, I would have suspected the whole scene was played out for my  approval. Here, now, I think my presence made Keanu less, not more, likely  to do what he did. As is so often the case in his offscreen human  encounters, Keanu Reeves looks painfully embarrassed. But he’s not going to  change the way he behaves for me. Or anyone.
 
 

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